Sleet on the Coast
Family, MK Style

This is Where the Healing Begins

Unexpected memories are my favorite. The kids and I were driving home from the dentist when I thought about dinner and the empty freezer. So I surprised everyone, including myself, by pulling into Publix. We walked through the bakery and the deli, and bef

Have you ever kept silent on something until it no longer affected anyone else?  You were still affected and nobody knew, because you were, well, silent.

So you thought you had to keep this up
All the work that you do
So we think that you're good
And you can't believe it's not enough
All the walls you built up
Are just glass on the outside

You can keep silent forever.  You can take the secrets to your grave. 

But the walls are just glass on the outside...

So let 'em fall down

There's freedom waiting in the sound

When you let your walls fall to the ground

We're here now

I've kept my secrets for decades.  I haven't wanted to hurt anyone by speaking the truth.  But the fact is, silence is hurting me.  It is hurting my family.  It is hurting any hope of a ministry I could have.  It is hurting my creativity.  It is hurting God.  

I've tried to stifle it, to not let it affect me.  But then I'll lash out at one of the kids in anger.  I'll gain weight.  I'll stop taking photos.  I won't blog.  I will try not to make friends. 

No more. 

This is where the healing begins, 
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark

My greatest fear is that everyone will abandon me.  Abandonment is at the core of all that I worry about in this world. I am always sure, all the time, that everyone wants to leave me.  And I'm always sure, every moment, that they will leave me. 

Afraid to let your secrets out
Everything that you hide
Can come crashing through the door now
But too scared to face all your fear
So you hide but you find
That the shame won't disappear

I haven't found my voice yet, but I will soon, I hope. I need to know if cracks can fill with grace and love. I need to know if it's true that light meets the dark.


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